It is okay not to like it...

Birth is not pain-free for most women.

I know this is not a secret, but it seems to be a thing in the natural birth community to sugar coat the physical sensations of birth. There are many, many benefits to giving birth naturally and even ecstatically (Thank you Sarah Buckley!), but in trying to encourage women to give birth naturally we are working too hard. We even border on lying. It is okay not to enjoy all the sensations of birth. It is okay not to like it.

I have only had one woman transfer for pain relief and she did so after a very long labor. It is my belief that women who are able to have an unhindered birth (privacy, freedom of movement, and unobtrusive support) will be able to cope with the normal pain of labor quite well and that belief has been born out in experience. I haven't found it to be necessary for women to have a whole bunch of rules or methods to give birth successfully either...relaxation is definitely key, but not much else.

There is nothing I would love more than for women to not feel guilty for not enjoying all the aspects of physical challenges that motherhood brings. I think we would all be a lot better off if we felt that we could say "labor hurts...but it is worth it" or "breastfeeding stinks sometimes, but I am glad I did it and wouldn't have it any other way". I also think that if we want to truly support each other we should do a better job of letting our friends or clients complain a little. It is okay and healthy.

The best part (in my humble opinion) is that we can whine a little, then go on to do a very amazing thing with our bodies. Women are awesome like that.

On the road again...

Midwifery has helped me to see the world!! Well, not the world exactly. I have seen a few states that I hadn't been to before. I have seen the region that I serve VERY well...this happens because: I have had clients in most of the cities surrounding my home, I make wrong turns, and because my navigation system has a sick sense of humor. My Starbucks and Panera seeking abilities are amazing. I just get a feeling that a Starbucks is nearby and I am usually right. It is part of the uncanny intuition that I have developed as a midwife. :-)

This month in particular has been a traveling month. Currently, I have two postpartum moms and two moms who are due (and they really thought that they should have a baby by now) all living close to each other, but about an hour and 40 minutes from my home. So, I have been doing a lot of driving. I fantasize about hotel rooms a lot and even considered staying at a weekly rate hotel. Last night, I went to a movie at 9:55 pm in the city where most of them live just in case someone went into labor. I was already down there and they were having enough going on to make the drive home seem daunting if it meant I had to come back again. Crazy? Yes and no, this will pass. All these beautiful moms will cease to need me and I will move on. I will have added another story to my stable, the one about that crazy month when I lived in my car.

I love what I do. I even love driving because it shakes up my rural life a little and because I usually pass a Trader Joes. My sacrum disagrees...but car time is good and a lot of chiropractors have home births which means I have a chiropractor in every just about every city too. I listen to books with an app on my phone. I take phone calls. I visit my buddies at Starbucks. I do errands sometimes. I practice rapping. I know where all the cleanest bathrooms are and which gas stations I like the best.

Even though I see ladies primarily at my office, I do see them at their homes at least once and more often a few times. I love to pull up to the house of a mother in labor and already know which chair I like to sit in or where her bathroom is. I know that she is comfortable with me being in her home and that I can set-up for birth without distracting her from the work that she has to do. I love that we have already spent hours with each other in conversation and that now we can settle into a comfortable silence and be focused on her alone. After her baby is born and I leave her tucked into bed, I look forward to the return visits to her home when I get to see the transformation that the family has made and I get to finally hold that baby for a little while longer than just the few minutes it takes to do a newborn exam. I get to settle back and hear how she feels about how her labor went and laugh together about some of the things she said or felt. It makes it worth all the time I spend in my car...very worth it.

Full of Grace Birth Services, Bettie Sheets, Midwife

Full of Grace Birth Services, Bettie Sheets, Midwife

The above link is to my listing on Naturally Born, please consider leaving a review if you have had a home birth with our practice. Thank you!