Permanent State of Catch-Up?

I have a fear of being late. It comes from being raised by a mother who lived in her own time zone most of the time. She is about one hour behind everyone else. I paid the price for that at elementary school when I was punished or at the very least suffered the disgusted eye-roll of my teachers. Later, I was older and able to get myself on the bus without assistance, but the damage was done. This fear has not resulted in major trauma to my psyche, but it is fun to bring it up just to tease my poor mother.

A couple of days ago we had our second Internet class, I planned my entire day around it. As life would have it, one of my dear clients needed to talk to me about an hour before the class was scheduled to begin. No problem, I would have plenty of time. Well, the call extended for the hour without me realizing it. I quickly tried to log on, telling myself that I would only be a few minutes late. Not so! The few minutes extended in about 30 as my laptop inexplicably kept freezing up. There is nothing more infuriating to me to sit doing nothing waiting on a frozen computer!!!

I decided to switch to the family desktop. I logged right on in no time. Plugged in the headset and found that it did not work. I could hear everyone, but I couldn't talk. They could see me, and were wondering why I didn't speak. After several more minutes of this, I gave up because I was having visions of throwing both of the computers out the window and running down the road screaming. It took me about 15 more minutes and a glass of wine to accept that I would have to listen to the recording and that everything would be fine.

Next time, I will make sure that I don't have anything else open on my laptop and that I begin signing in much earlier. I will also resist blaming mom for the whole mess.

Week 2 Facillitating Online

Just tonight I am listening to the recording from last week! Really never imagined that it would be so hard to find time to do it. I think I do much better when I have such things scheduled.

Listening to the session made me realized just how many doors can be opened to me that could have the potential to reach more people AND possibly saving me some time. While I have been playing around writing personal musings on this blog, my focus for this course is much broader.

These are the questions posed for the week:

• What do you want to learn to facilitate?

I want to learn to facilitate online classes, provide education, and for an outlet for birth activism.

• What are you doing now in terms of online facilitation?

I stick to facebook! I seem to find my biggest challenge, as is apparent here, to find the line between sharing my personal self and my public self.

• What would you like to achieve, change or do more of?

I would like to accommodate my clients, find ways to reach those who are geographically distant from me, and learn to avoid repeating information that could be easily disseminated all at once. I would like to achieve at least a passing knowledge about using the technology to make all of the above happen.

• What do you need to do or make happen to achieve your goal?

I need to plug away and keep my focus; which is surprisingly hard. The incentive of being a part of this course helps. I like a challenge and it is also extremely satisfying to feel so international.

Missing My Connections.

All this week I have been hearing the unfolding news of the aggressive form of cancer called Merkel Cell Carcinoma that my mom's best friend (whom I refer to as Aunt Vicky) has just been diagnosed with.

Mom and Aunt Vicky have been friends since the 6th grade which means that I have known her my entire life. When I was younger, Aunt Vicky's daughter Kelly, only a month older than I, considered ourselves to be best friends. They did not always live close by, but their visits were a top priority for us.

In my current life, I am far away from my family and the friends I grew up with. I moved away from California 16 years ago and since then I have only seen Aunt Vicky a handful of times. The last time was 8 years ago.

The distance that I live in some ways has been a blessing for me. I avoid all kinds of family drama! However, the trade-off is huge. When I have lost family members I have had to make difficult choices and grieve without the comfort of being surrounded by those who share my grief. Our income being what it has been all these past years, that of a large family with a military paycheck, rounding up last minute plan tickets to attend the funeral of a beloved Aunt or Uncle is just not an option.

Today, I sit knowing that Aunt Vicky may only have a few months left. I sit fighting the urge to hop on the next plane to see her one last time. I struggle with the knowledge that if I do so I place my family at an economic disadvantage especially when I have several commitments in the next few months that will require me to travel. The choices are difficult. Some are just part of life, some seem part of life that should not be.

Facilitating Online 2010

Yesterday, I got a bit carried away with my new blog and forgot why I did all this to begin with! I am participating in a course called Facilitating Online 2010. By taking this course I hope to learn skills for blogging effectively. Not just to blather on with nonsense or musings (case in point: everything I wrote yesterday), but to effectively share using my blog as a way to disseminate information to the folks I want to share it with.

Birthwork brings with it the opportunity to educate and provide support to women in a unique way. Also, the opportunity to do the same for other birthworkers. My main goals are to improve my communication and learning new outlets for communication.

With this blog, I will share my journey as I go through the course and complete the assignments. Be prepared to be dazzled. If not dazzled then, at least informed of my progress and all of the exciting things to come.

The Birth Pit Crew

I thought today that that midwives and assistants can be like the pit crew at birth. At first this idea may not seem very hands-off but hear me out. If you have ever watched a car race you might already see where I am headed with this. I watched a lot of car races as a kid because of my dad's love of the sport, ready? Here we go:

The focus of the race itself and of the pit crew's focus is always the car/driver duo. For midwives it is the mother/baby duo.  If the car enters the pit, the pit crew is amazing, tires are changed, and all sorts of other wonders that I have no idea about take place in seconds. It can be much that way with birth. The mother labors and labors, sometimes the "crew" needs to lend a hand. Get some water, offer encouragement, rub her back, prepare some food, change the chux pad, and clean up the birth room before anyone knows what hit them.  If there is a crisis, the crew can spring into action but only if she needs more. No respectable pit crew would overhaul the engine in the middle of the race if all was well. No pit crew would detain the driver for even a second longer than necessary; to do so could cost him the race.

So it is with labor. Midwives who let women be and who are there for whatever is necessary and nothing more are an asset and not a hindrance. One of the greatest aspects of the pit crew is that they are sharp, on their toes, dedicated, and ready at a moments notice...but there are no stars in the pit crew. It is never about them.

The biggest (and best) difference between birth and this pit crew/race comparison is that there should be a lack of race mentality at a birth along with a lack of race anxiety. While giving birth may be victorious it should be without competition and certainly without time records to beat. So, it is an imperfect analogy and I am not sure if this is my original thought. Hey...I like it anyway!

Smokey Eyes and Other Disasters

Every now and then I fall victim to my femininity and give in to vanity. When I am sane, I just like to look nice, presentable, professional, and attractive enough to remind my husband why he married me. Other times, I get a little kooky and think that I should buy cellulite lotion and $26 eye cream. Even still, I rarely if ever, venture out of the drugstore to buy what I need. So I fancy myself to be somewhat sensible the majority of the time.

Yesterday, I reached into my make-up bag for my usual $11 mineral face powder and found, to my dismay, that it had gone missing. After interviewing all of my female offspring it was determined that some sort of unnamed creature had run off with my powder and placed it into the kids bathroom where it was then discovered by my 18 year old daughter who used it and then later broke it. She, of course, was completely innocent because it was already there, so why shouldn't she use it? As tempting as it would have been to lose my mind over this development, I resisted the urge and vowed to be okay with my shiny, uneven face until I could make it to Satan's Lair (Wal-Mart) the next day. I normally only wear three items of make-up, the powder, mascara, and lip gloss. Even so, they are VERY important to me and I hate wasting $11.

In addition to other errands I did manage to make it to the store today and headed over to the cosmetics aisle. Finding my usual Cover Girl display, I was intrigued by the packaging for a Smokey Eyes Kit. It contained eye shadow, liquid eyeliner, mascara, and instructions guaranteed to give you eyes as smokey as Drew Barrymore's. I tried to resist and failed. I threw the box in the cart with my strawberries, and new salad spinner, grabbed the face powder, and left. I arrived home and ran straight through the throng of kids waiting for me to the bathroom. I really had to pee. After that, I figured I could try out those smokey eyes. I was quite successful. In fact, I thought I looked like a fox. I was just trying to take a picture for my facebook status when my husband walked in. I batted my smokey eyes at him and asked him what he thought. He pointed out that it was a little much for the middle of the day and my casual outfit. I had to tell him that he was supposed to tell me that I looked like a fox. Duh

I ended up getting some bad news later that day. I refuse to blog about it because it would ruin my allure, but suffice it to say that bitter tears and smokey eyes are not a good match. Does Drew Barrymore have to contend with this when she is running around with smokey eyes? I don't know, maybe the tears and the smoky eyes gave me a certain Marilyn Monroe quality?

Now that the tears have dried and I am feeling more hopeful about life again. I have decided that this blog post will serve as a important service for all women who are trying to recreate the smokey eye at home. Do the smokey eye! Enjoy it for all its worth. Even if that means wearing a pair of sweats while eating a pb&j at home with the kids. Even if that means that you have a cry with them. You only live once and may as well look hot while you do it (even if your the only one who thinks so).

Why such a boring title for my blog?

The current title for my blog would appear to be completely without imagination. However, once you get to know me you will find out that "Bettie Sheets" is about the wittiest title that I could have come up with! In fact, Bettie Sheets is fast becoming a catchphrase...you just haven't heard about it yet. That will soon change.

Bettie Sheets will most likely be listed as a verb in the next edition of Webster's.

Why? Don't ask why, just wait and all will be revealed.

Funny what I get myself into sometimes!

So, here I am blogging. I guess I have so much free time on my hands that I need a new venture right? No, not really. I am hoping that by beginning this blog I will have the opportunity to share what is on my mind, relay information, and share my passions with those who are willing to read. Who knows? Maybe I will save time in the process.

I am doing this because I am participating in an online blogging course. In the future, when I am worthy, this blog can serve as a communication tool for my to my clients as well.

My current passions are:

My family. I have 7 beautiful living children, ages 18, 17, 14, 12, 10, 9, and 6. I have a handsome husband who is in the military. We are currently getting ready to say good-bye to him for a year as he will deploy to Kuwait.

Miscarriage and stillbirth. I lost two babies in a year, the first with a miscarriage and the second a stillbirth at 22 weeks. They were my last pregnancies (John Paul 4/05 and Sophia Janice 9/22/05). I do speak openly about my experiences in hopes that others will be comforted by that and that some will be educated about grief surrounding pregnancy/neonatal loss.

Homebirth. I am a homebirth midwife. I serve women and have a passion for hands-off, family directed birth. I love being the pit crew for moms and babies. If all I do is clean up the mess, then that means the birth was a success for me professionally.

Faith. I am a proud of my Catholic faith. I am a convert which makes me more obnoxious than most. However, I am genuinely interested in the faith of others and I think pretty tolerant. I share my faith because it is part of me, not because I am preaching.

There is more, but I gots to go!