Smokey Eyes and Other Disasters

Every now and then I fall victim to my femininity and give in to vanity. When I am sane, I just like to look nice, presentable, professional, and attractive enough to remind my husband why he married me. Other times, I get a little kooky and think that I should buy cellulite lotion and $26 eye cream. Even still, I rarely if ever, venture out of the drugstore to buy what I need. So I fancy myself to be somewhat sensible the majority of the time.

Yesterday, I reached into my make-up bag for my usual $11 mineral face powder and found, to my dismay, that it had gone missing. After interviewing all of my female offspring it was determined that some sort of unnamed creature had run off with my powder and placed it into the kids bathroom where it was then discovered by my 18 year old daughter who used it and then later broke it. She, of course, was completely innocent because it was already there, so why shouldn't she use it? As tempting as it would have been to lose my mind over this development, I resisted the urge and vowed to be okay with my shiny, uneven face until I could make it to Satan's Lair (Wal-Mart) the next day. I normally only wear three items of make-up, the powder, mascara, and lip gloss. Even so, they are VERY important to me and I hate wasting $11.

In addition to other errands I did manage to make it to the store today and headed over to the cosmetics aisle. Finding my usual Cover Girl display, I was intrigued by the packaging for a Smokey Eyes Kit. It contained eye shadow, liquid eyeliner, mascara, and instructions guaranteed to give you eyes as smokey as Drew Barrymore's. I tried to resist and failed. I threw the box in the cart with my strawberries, and new salad spinner, grabbed the face powder, and left. I arrived home and ran straight through the throng of kids waiting for me to the bathroom. I really had to pee. After that, I figured I could try out those smokey eyes. I was quite successful. In fact, I thought I looked like a fox. I was just trying to take a picture for my facebook status when my husband walked in. I batted my smokey eyes at him and asked him what he thought. He pointed out that it was a little much for the middle of the day and my casual outfit. I had to tell him that he was supposed to tell me that I looked like a fox. Duh

I ended up getting some bad news later that day. I refuse to blog about it because it would ruin my allure, but suffice it to say that bitter tears and smokey eyes are not a good match. Does Drew Barrymore have to contend with this when she is running around with smokey eyes? I don't know, maybe the tears and the smoky eyes gave me a certain Marilyn Monroe quality?

Now that the tears have dried and I am feeling more hopeful about life again. I have decided that this blog post will serve as a important service for all women who are trying to recreate the smokey eye at home. Do the smokey eye! Enjoy it for all its worth. Even if that means wearing a pair of sweats while eating a pb&j at home with the kids. Even if that means that you have a cry with them. You only live once and may as well look hot while you do it (even if your the only one who thinks so).